This Boy is our Son, but not our only one

Our son-Emerson, resides in a bedroom that had been planned for Spencer, but it is his room now. A totally different theme, new paint, and all.

Just as other things have made the transition.

But be clear- one son is not a replacement for the other. We have, 2 sons. One who is here with us, and one who is not- but they are separate people. Different little boys.

This little boy is loved of his own making. He does not share space with Spencer, he has his own space in our world, just as Kenzie and Spencer did and do.

Do we expect at some time, he may ask about his brother and ask if we wished he was here or if he would be here if Spencer were still here.

My answers will always be yes. Yes- we wish Spencer was still here, yes we would wish for Emerson to be here with us too.

He is not a replacement, a fill in, a newer model. He is our son. Loved as much as we love Kenzie and Spencer. Loved from the moment we knew of him, until we can love no more.

So very loved.

He is our son, the baby of the family. One of our two sons. One of our three children. His room may have originally been meant to hold another little boy, but that little boy is held by a massive tree in our yard, and by mementos held throughout our house. By photos and quilts in the hall, a night light in our bedroom. Emerson's room is all his own. Not shared by a little boy lost, but ready to finally have memories of a little boy living in it after waiting so very long.

Kenzie, Spencer and Emerson are each their own people, individual kids of ours, each with their own story to tell. Spencers story might be short- but it will live large and long and will help ensure Kenzie and Emerson's stories mean that much more.