44 Days
44 days. Not usually a timeframe marked in your new babies growth journey.
There is no leap, no blanket marker, no sticker to put on their shirt to commemorate.
But to us 44 days is something big. Happy, sad, exciting, nerve wracking, awkward, and many other things.
Today, Emerson is 44 days old. Today, Emerson is older than Spencer ever was. Today and for the rest of his life, Emerson will be older than his older brother.
Today our son reached a milestone we never got to reach with his brother.
43 days is forever timestamped on me for Spencer.
Inked on my right ankle
1yr and 1 week will forever be timestamped on me for Kenzie as the day her heart began again after surgery.
What will I timestamp for Emerson? I'm not sure yet, but in this time of unrest- this time of hopeful action that will lead to real change, not just words and memes for a few weeks, but long term, life altering change, maybe the country is giving me the timestamp for him.
Maybe his timestamp will be about a change much bigger than just him. Maybe it will be about the day the country shifted for the better of all.
Because wouldn't that be the best timestamp I could give him? A future changed, a future brighter, a future that was truly different because of the present he was born into?
This is a scary time, not because of riots or protests or corona or even the current leadership. All of which are scary. No, it is a scary time, because we have the potential for a great shift here and now, but there is always the potential that once again the voices are silenced and the change is left behind as we move ahead. And that is truly scary.
As we start Emerson's 44th day, let it matter. Let this day, and the days ahead be a timestamp that we can look back on and know were a true moment, a movement, a time that didn't just fade away into nothing, but a time that will be written about for the future to look back on as when something finally happened.
As I have a toddler and infant, I am fairly homebound, but I can still help make and impact today and so can you. Today, I make an impact for Spencer who did not make it to 44 days. For Emerson who did. For Kenzie who is here because of a heart mended.
They might be little, but they are fierce.