5yrs

Well all-

Surprise.

We're pregnant.

Well...I'm pregnant. My husband is expecting to be a dad again.

We're actually 14+wks along!

We've got a good amount of the genetic testing we were doing complete, and this little boy (yup-a boy) is looking great. Still a few more tests to confirm things, and then just the wait for his arrival.

Based on everything, it looks like most of Spencers conditions were truly the rarest of the rare random events. They don't expect any type of repeat. BUT considering how rare everything with Spencer was, being told there is less than a 1% chance of anything happening this time is still terrifying!

One of his conditions we found out, I actually have. Weird to find out you have a condition at 34yo. But, it is fairly minor for the most part, at least where I fall on the spectrum. This babe is free and clear of that condition, which is a huge relief.

We expect the condition will show in Kenzie and be a cause of her heart stuff.

Man is Spencer teaching us so very much!

I know some people who have had miscarriages and when they try again, have said they have a bit of relief when they make it past that original point of loss from their miscarriage.

There is no point of relief here.

Spencer was born before we knew anything was wrong. He was here.

Even then it took a few days for people to recognize it was something serious.

I don't think I will be able to breathe until this baby shows up and we are told they are healthy as could ever be.

Until then, we are being a bit odd and trying to do the things we didn't do for Spencer for this baby. Like, if we do it this time, things have to be ok.

Ex: Painting the room and having it ready to go. We know this didn't impact Spencers health, but something about it feels like we are putting our foot down that this kid is coming home.

We have the big stuff, no problem, but something about me feels like we were so dependent on older stuff with Spence that it wasn't fair- so while we will have lots of older stuff from Kenzie, there will still be some refreshing.

One thing that I have thought long about is the dresser and Crib/bed we have here. The dresser built, the crib waiting for Spencer. We are going to use them for this babe, but I have told my husband I need to paint them. He thinks it's unnecessary. But, to me, I picked the brown for Spencer, I put the clothes away in that dresser- for Spencer, so I want to change them just a bit to give them a refresh. A new purpose, for this new baby.

We did a fun FB announcement

and will do whatever else we want. No 'second thought' type stuff this time. Go Big AND GO HOME- TOGETHER.

I might even do a baby brunch or something. No gifts- but some sort of 'let's celebrate this baby' deal. What's fun is that we had just found out before family photos- so our whole family, in some way is represented in this pictures.

Our photographer was supposed to do newborn pics for Spencer. But now we can’t wait to do pictures of this little.

Wondering yet where my 5yr title for todays post comes from? Well, by the time this kid arrives, I will have been pregnant some part of every year for the past 5!!

2016-Pregnant with Kenzie

2017-Had Kenzie

2018-Pregnant with Spencer

2019-Had Spencer

2019-Pregnant with Baby 3

4/2020 - Baby 3 due.

Seriously- I could write a book by now. My clothes, my body, my shoes, and everything else has been in such a hard pregnant-mom mode for so long now, I don't think it knows another way.

Yeah. I am starting to feel like a permanent pregnant lady. Like, pretty sure I already look 6mos when I am not even 4. I am lucky getting pregnant comes easily- and I do NOT take that for granted, but I am so very ready to snuggle this bug forever and never let him go.

I know Spencer is looking out for his baby brother and that makes me feel like it all has to be ok.