Oh Dads

I was talking to my dad the other week, Hi Dad, and he told me he was proud of my writing, and then asked the most dad thing ever...

Why hadn't I made my blog go viral.

Yup. Why hadn't I done that.

This is a viral worthy smile

I laughed and told him, if I could do that, I would be making way more money than I do.

But the thought around what and who go viral isn't new to me. I work in the social media space and follow a good amount of IG accounts that are full of people making money just for being curated, perfect versions of themselves.

I have no problem with that, I am here for @darylannedenner and her amazon goodies and 'cooking' hacks, her mom try ons-with her mom. I love me some @theramblingredhead and her house style and family, her coffee shop drinks sound amazing.

And maybe it is because I suffered my own loss, but it does seem lately that more IG and YT creators than I ever remember have gone 'viral' when they have lost a child. There have been a few just in the past few months that were all over the internet. People magazine even had articles online about them. There was outpouring of support, gofund me's, and based on their posts, an immense amount of personalized gifts around their families and the children that had lost.

I won't lie. It hurt a little.

What made their loss so much more special? What made their loss so much more deserving of all that attention? Just because these people try on brand new wardrobes for people to see everyday? and get us to buy a new necklace or headband they are wearing...their loss means more?

But that was the bitterness talking. Yes, anyone in this position is allowed, at times, to be bitter about shit. Don't get me started on 'the grass is always greener'...

But you also have to let that bitterness go.

These people were well known before their losses. Yes, they were well known for what seemed to some, to be silly reasons, but it was just because they were good at their job of selling themselves, their products, their lives.

They had followers. People deeply invested in their stories, before loss became a part of it. So of course they got an outpouring of support and stuff and whatever else. Because you can't have thousands of people follow your daily life, and not have them care when the tragedy of child loss, becomes part of that story.

So, I might not go viral. I might not have a GoFund Me or 30 different watercolor pictures of our family, or other random things. But I did get an outpouring of support from those I do know.

Necklaces from friends, food from my work family and others. Hugs and love from those closest to me and other things from people who do know me, and did care.

Don't get me wrong, when I see people post about their loss and see it become front page news, it can still sting. But that is because to everyone who has lost a child, they want their loss to matter as much as anyone else's. It's part of being human.

Do I write this blog for fame and fortune? No. Would I turn it down? yeah. probably not. But I am not going to overhaul my life to make it happen.

Now, if you know someone who wants to turn my blog into a book, rambling about loss in a sarcastic but totally real way, send them my direction. It worked for the hot widows club. I mean Terrible, Thanks for Asking is awesome, but we could use a child loss version.

Until then, I'll just keep writing what, when and where I want, and hope it reaches people who care what I say and like how I say it, and maybe reaches the right person when they need it most. Because there are a lot more of us out there than most people realize.

Also...did you know July is 'bereaved parents' month? Yeah, neither did I, and I am one. But what do you do with that? Hashtag it? Wear a pin or ribbon? Send flowers? I mean I just don't even....because no one is out there saying 'happy bereaved parents month.'

So maybe I'll just skip this one. National chocolate day, however, feel free to wish me a happy day then.