Mental Health
Mental Health- it is not just a buzzword, trend, hashtag, meme. It is an important piece of every single persons overall health and well being.
It is something I did not expect to need to prioritize after the birth of my children. It isn’t something that is a part of our pre-natal journey.
My physical health, yes, my mental, not so much.
But it ended up being almost the complete opposite. And how I supported my mental health is different than many expect.
I am here to tell you, how one manages their own health, is their own choice, different people need different things. That is ok.
When Kenzie was born in 2017 my mother was in the hospital adjacent having just come through the other side of multiple mini strokes. I shuffled my 24hr post c-section body over to her room to see her, to say hi, to tell her about her new granddaughter she could not yet meet.
Kenzie would spend her first year with excessive reflux, having throat surgery, and just past her first birthday-open heart surgery. To say it was mentally a battle to work, and live and be, would be an understatement. But her health came before all, and I was lucky to have a company that supported me in any of my needs.
In early 2019 Spencer was born, 6 weeks later, he was gone. My daughters challenges to my mental health were trivial after that. Again, my company showed up for me.
I went back to work 2 weeks after his passing, totally by choice, and largely for my mental health.
Might seem counterintuitive but honestly I craved the schedule, the normalcy, the known, the understood that my job, office and co workers gave me. I could not sit in the empty, the quiet, the incomprehensible that my home gave me at the time. My team was there for me. Giving flexibility as needed when I had sudden hard days or great days. Not judging me for a day where I smiled and laughed, and supporting me in the days I was dark.
In early 2020, just months into the pandemic our third child, Emerson was born. Once again in an era where mental health was fraying due to the state of the world. My first and only ’normal’ post partum experience was robbed from me.
Family met him through glass, my then 2yo was home as daycare was closed, my sister met him months after he was here. It was necessary but also crushing. Again, my company supported me, as best they could.
You know those movies where they get to the top of the mountain expecting to see the road home, only to see another mountain waiting for them?
That is what the past few years felt like. Insurmountable mountain followed by insurmountable mountain.
Having a supportive family and a company that understood was necessary to my families survival and my health, in all ways.
When I began looking at moving jobs- a company that prioritized health, family, it’s people, was paramount over so many other things.
I am lucky to have landed somewhere that has those things, and so much more.
There are still days, without notice, that I need to shut down with little notice and I am lucky to know that my company and team will be there if needed.
That is a part of mental health- no matter how in control of it you are, there will always be days where it falls apart.
Recognizing mental health is a priority, that everyone handles it differently, that it can be uncomfortable and unpredictable is a necessity to truly support it. It doesn’t care if you have the most epic day of your life planned or a nothing day, it doesn’t care if you are a tenured CEO or a new hire, it doesn’t care if you are the most disciplined olympian or a no obligation having kid. It does not care. So it is up to us to care about it for ourselves and each other.
Don’t just talk about it, and give word service, support it.
Companies need to ensure the right resources, time, etc are available to their teams. The world needs to recognize it as a reality for everyone and that everyone deals with it differently, it is 2021- and I am proud to see mental health taking a front row seat, so let’s not waste it by trying to move the spotlight elsewhere and hoping it goes away.
Your companies, team members, friends, family will all benefit from everyone having the support they need in all areas of life. So don’t just like a post or comment, take action, and be the change.