Would he have liked being called Spence?

When people ask about Spencer, it is one of my favorite things. It means people are trying to remember him, not just that he is no longer here.

It is also one of the hardest things.

I can't tell you about his laugh or smile. He never fully opened his eyes, so I can only somewhat guess at their color. I can't tell you about his likes or dislikes. I have no funny stories about fights we had or trips we took. I can't tell you if he liked his nickname...I can't tell you so much, and that makes my heart ache.

This was March 12th. One of the last and only days he ever opened his eyes enough for us to see them.

But....

I can tell you, he loved to snuggle. He loved laying on my chest for hours. His little hand wrapped around my shirt like a koala on a tree. I can tell you he purred when Dan stroked his head, but not when anyone else did it. I can tell you he peed on me, and a few nurses, and a doctor. Once it missed everyone and he peed halfway across the room.

I can tell you he had a full head of slightly red-ish hair. He had light eyebrows and eyelashes that made us think it would get lighter and redder.

I can tell you he was and is loved so much more than anyone could think possible in 6 weeks.

Only bath he got from mom and dad

So, please, ask away. Make sure he is remembered for being Spencer, not just as my son who died. Know it might take a minute to answer, I might not even be able to answer right away. Either way, I am glad you want to know about him and who he was while he was here.

I had a son, his name was Spencer, and he was the best damn little boy a mom could ask for.