An Assumption

When you mention that you lost a child, who was full term, at 6 weeks old, often times SIDS is what comes to peoples minds.

It's just what is known out there as a reason a full term baby would no longer be with us. But, as you know, that was not the case with Spencer.

Sometimes we share more of his story, sometimes we keep it brief, sometimes we simply aren't sure what to say.

But we never want people to stay with an assumption that isn't true, while we also don't want what happened to us, to scare other people into thinking it could happen to them.

Trust me, we have enough people who know our story that have been moved to ask more genetic questions than typical when trying to get pregnant or already pregnant.

SIDS is scary and no matter how many guidelines you follow, always there.

Trust me, it scares me too. The idea that there is something out there that I don't have full control over, once this child comes home is terrifying. But I try not to think of all the what-ifs.

But SIDS is not what took our son. So, I try to at least let people know that. Not to scare them into thinking that there are other unknowns, but to just make sure Spencers story isn't changed. That it doesn't become a game of telephone where it goes into 'I know someone who knows someone who's kids passed at 6 weeks from SIDS....'

Spencers story is his own and it is unique and yes, scary, but also it is my job as his mom to make sure, if it is told, it is told right.

SIDS is a terrible thing, it just isn't our thing. It isn't my story to tell. So, I tell Spencer's story and that's how it will always be.